Women of the United States of America tend to have strong feelings about their appearance. It is apparent that in U.S. culture a women's appearance means a lot. Women are constantly being pushed by the media into thinking that they need to look like a model and dress a certain way to be attractive; which is impossible for most women, and even those that do reach the physical ideal are rarely satisfied. Our culture tells us that we need to follow certain norms to be attractive. Most people subject themselves to these ideals.
A couple of weeks ago I attended a party called The Bunnies Revenge, the name referring to the Playboy Bunny. The people who went to this party were supposed to dress up in lingerie. I was surprised by how far people took the theme, some dressing in only in revealing underwear and bras. Is it appropriate to have occasions where it is the norm for people to dress scandalously? I seemed to feel it wasn’t, I felt that it was skanky and wrong, but looking back I am not sure why I felt that way. I had another obligation that night which wasn’t over until after the party had started, so I didn’t have the opportunity to dress up, but I probably wouldn’t have anyways. I’m not sure the reason that I labeled the party as skanky. It could have been because that is really how I felt, or because I felt too insecure with my body to dress up myself so I labeled the people who did to make myself feel better.
Because I didn’t dress up, I felt out of place at the party. One of my friends was disappointed that I hadn’t dressed up and confronted me about it, which made me feel even more out of place. I explained to her that I didn’t have time to get dressed up to the party’s theme. It was apparent that we have different views and morals when it comes to modesty and sexuality. She seemed to feel very comfortable and was enjoying the occasion. I not only would have felt very uncomfortable if I had dressed up, but I even felt uncomfortable being in the presence of those who had.
I believe that the cause for me feeling uncomfortable at the party was due to the fact that I grew up in America, where people are ultimately influenced into feeling insecure about themselves. The media constantly exploits women, by only using tall, skinny, attractive models, and using computer technology to make them even more physically “flawless”. It is because of this that women create idols from the media, and they are bound to be let down, as it is near impossible to achieve a body like most of whom are on television.
The U.S. makes it even more difficult for American women to feel satisfied by making them overweight. We live in a busy, capitalistic society in which people are constantly moving. It is a stressful environment, in which many people take out their stress by eating junk food. If people found new ways to take out their stress, such as working out, it would help fix the problem of insecurity of ones body. There aren’t any advertisements for healthy food or exercise, only the unhealthy and processed foods, and meal portion size is out of control! Big corporations are running our country more than the government itself and, unlike the government, they are only seeking money and don’t make the well being of its citizens a priority. For example, when the dairy industry put out the “Got Milk” advertisements, they influenced the Food Pyramid, and got schools to sell certain dairy products, all in order to get kids hooked on milk for their lifetime. It is because of the dairy industry that people think dairy is healthy, but in truth it is just making the U.S. more unhealthy. So ultimately the media is telling us we need to be skinny and physically perfect, and it’s also getting us fat, and therefore we become unsatisfied and insecure with our bodies because we don’t have the ideal body.
One of my friends who is heavier, attended the party and dressed in lingerie. She told me afterwords that she felt extremely uncomfortable. I believe the reason that she dressed up, knowing that she would feel uncomfortable, was because she felt she had to. She may have found it difficult to decide whether to feel like an outsider because she didn’t dress up, or to dress up and feel uncomfortable with her body.
I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing that people show skin, i just feel that it is inappropriate in that environment. It can be okay for people to show skin in a nonsexual environment, and possibly even good for their self esteem. I feel that it’s even okay for people to show a little sexuality with other people around. The problem comes when the two are combined. I feel that it is only appropriate for people to show skin and be sexual at the same time, when one is in private with their lover.
The Bunnies Revenge was an interesting environment in which most of the women dressed up but none of the men did. I felt that it was not fair that the women felt obligated to dress up but the men did not, as this was clearly a themed party. This is an example of a still existing double standard between men and women. Why are women exposing their bodies but the men aren’t held to the same standard? It’s amazing to me that women tolerate this.
Often the reason that women dress skimpy do so out of low self esteem. Often they are desperate for sexual attention, so they imitate what they see in the media. Many experience that they will get more attention but not the type that they want from dressing in provocative ways. They should be taught that to be treated like a lady, one must dress like a lady. To get respect from men, they must have respect for themselves.
Southern Oregon University’s Erotic Ball is a yearly event that takes place on campus. Students come dressed in very revealing attire to dance, let loose and have fun. At this event both men and women dress provocatively. It is difficult for me to understand why people choose to attend events like this and the Bunnies Revenge party.
I think that our society is changing the way women think. Although there were many skimpily dressed women at this party, many felt the same way that I feel. Hopefully change will occur throughout the nation, ending the exploitation of women in the media and restricting big corporations influence on people. Hopefully the double standards for men versus women will be a thing of the past. Like all change that happens in our culture, it will take time for this to occur. I have met many strong women and think that we have begun to see positive change already in Ashland. These women are not ones that will dress or eat to meet the norms. These are women that take pride in their healthy eating and enjoy their individuality in dressing how they feel comfortable. They will not be snowballed by the media.
Robbins explains in the book Cultural Anthropology: A Problem Based Approach, that “We are not born with an identity, it is something that we learn”(pp.216). In our society people are told that they need to be skinny and to dress in derogatory ways, but also tells them to be lazy and to eat junk food. The majority of women on television and magazines are tall, skinny, blonde and dress a certain way. These people have become the idols for the women of the United States. These messages contradict each other, which causes women to feel insecure about their selves. Here in Ashland, many people are starting to take a stand against these things by attempting to cut media, processed foods, and materialism out of their lives.
I’m still not sure if parties like the Bunnies Revenge and the Erotic Ball are a good thing or a bad thing, all I know is that they make me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps they are a revolt against the media and society. If they are, they will probably die down as the media and big corporations become more regulated. Until that happens, it is important that people do not subject to the messages that the big corporations are sending us. References
Robbins, R. Cultural Anthropology: A Problem Based Approach. Fifth Edition.
McDougall, MD. Marketing Milk and Disease. 2008
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